


The Four Brothers

by orphan_account



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: :')), Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Attempt at Humor, Based on a Tumblr Post, Chaos, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Family, Family Dynamic AU, Family Feels, Fluff, Gen, How Do I Tag, My First AO3 Post, POV Alternating, POV Outsider, Siblings, Swearing, Tags May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:22:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24395710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: It was a lovely late-summer morning at the local private high school. Flowers were chirping, birds were blooming, and SMP High School looked like it was about to burst into fire. (Yes, you read that correctly).The Chaos Trio, The Pandel Siblings, Those Fucking Kids had arrived and were here to dominate the worl- er, the school and give it a bad, bad time.Alternatively, the Phil, Wilbur, Techno, and Tommy are blood siblings and amazing at causing chaos. The school food sucks, Schlatt is having the time of his life, the teachers are tired, and student gossip flows like wildfire.[Discontinued. Will be rewritten. (sorry lol)]
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s), please don't ship real life people
Comments: 33
Kudos: 387





	The Four Brothers

**Author's Note:**

> Heavily based on [this post by antarctic-bay](https://antarctic-bay.tumblr.com/post/616124295075201024/and-they-were-a-family-oh-my-god-they-were-a), I LOVED their AU idea and threw away literally everything I’ve been working on just so I could explore this universe. Although, I did make some changes for the sake of storytelling. 
> 
> Please do not ship any characters. No shipping real life people, and this family dynamic AU might even be pushing the boundaries; I don’t know. More on boundaries on [this post](https://smp-boundaries.tumblr.com/post/190776977010/hey-smpblr-were-smp-boundaries-in-short-we-are).
> 
> Please do not ship any characters. No shipping real life people, and this family dynamic AU might even be pushing the boundaries; I don’t know. More on boundaries on this post.
> 
> The only school system I understand is American, and even that I barely understand. Bare with me here, and pretend it sort of makes sense. (ಥ﹏ಥ)
> 
> Basically, here’s a low-effort table if you get confused (I will provide a table with character ages later on, but until then, you might want to screenshot):  
> \---  
> Middle school (Grade 6-8, pretty much the three years before HS)
> 
> High School:  
> Freshman | Grade 9 | Year 10 | 14-15 year olds  
> Sophomore | Grade 10 | Year 11 | 15-16 yr olds  
> Junior | Grade 11 | Year 12 | 16-17  
> Senior | Grade 12 | Year 13 | 17-18
> 
> Generally, students will take the SATs (roughly equivalent to the GCSE) in Grade 11, sometimes in Grade 10.  
> \---  
> super ooc because i only watch techno and tommy lol sorry don't defenestrate me-
> 
> Now, onto the flaming dumpster of headcanons that is this fic!

August 31st

First day of S.M. Private High School

* * *

It was a lovely late-summer morning at the local private high school. Flowers were chirping, birds were blooming, and SMP High School looked like it was about to burst into fire. (Yes, you read that correctly). The Chaos Trio, The Pandel Siblings, Those Fucking Kids had arrived and were here to dominate the worl- er, the school and give it a bad, bad time. 

Of course, at this point in time, absolutely no one knew this yet. So Ms. Appers, the school’s attendance clerk, smiled widely at the three boys standing in front of her. 

“Can I help you boys?” 

The taller boy grinned. “Hello, we would like to get our schedules.” He pointed at the shortest blonde haired boy. “He’s Tommy.” He nodded at the third boy, who was scrolling through his phone and looking quite uninterested. “He’s Techno. And I’m Wilbur Pandel.”

Ms. Appers turned toward her computer before realizing she didn’t catch any of the other two boys’ surnames. “Sorry, what was...Tommy and Techno’s last names?”

Wilbur blinked. “Oh, no! We’re siblings. We’re all Pandels.”

Ms. Appers truly looked at the boys for the first time. Tommy - he had a small face and a head of messy blonde hair with large eyes. Techno was his exact opposite, with sharp eyes and neat clothes and dark hair. Wilbur had pale curly brown hair and a strong jaw. The trio looked nothing alike.

She raised her eyebrow. 

“Er- yeah, you can check the registry. I know we don’t look like siblings, we get that a lot,” Wilbur sheepishly said.

(Many months later, in the ransacked staff room, Ms. Appers (who was probably drunk) rambled about how not looking anything like siblings was probably one big reason the shit-show started. The other staff members (also probably drunk, but no one ever confirmed it) nodded and agreed with her.)

While their schedules slowly sputtered out of the printer, she tried to fill the silence with some meaningless small talk. “Are you boys new to this area?”

“Yep! Phil got a new part-time job here and even if it takes up a bunch of time it pays super well!” Tommy exclaimed. He was practically vibrating on his feet from excitement.

Ms. Appers had no idea who Phil was, but didn’t dwell on it. “How nice.” She remarked, and gave the papers to the trio. “I assume your medical forms are all in order as well?” 

“Yeah, should be.”

“Well then, have a nice first day of school!” Ms. Appers waved them out the door. 

“Thank you ma’am,” said Wilbur. 

_What a nice young man. I doubt the boys will see much of this office at all.  
_

“You’re welcome!” she chirped. She then greeted the next student in line. 

\---

SMP High School was a relatively large private high school of nearly two-thousand students, so most people didn’t tend to pay attention to transfers, much less ones that didn’t appear mid-year. The last name Pandel did not yet trigger subconscious terror or wonderstruck awe. It was only the first day of school, how much chaos could the brothers really cause?

\---

Schlatt was in his senior year, and he already felt the tendrils of senioritis settling in even though it was the first day of school. Boredom was bad for buisness, and most people didn’t seem to care about Schlatt coins anymore. Not to mention he needed to find and train a successor to continue the line of chaos in SMP before the year ended. _Scout freshman later_ , he wrote in the margins of his notebook.

He needed… something new. SMP was not a perfect private school it pretended to be, so what could he possibly exploit? But even if he did find something, the teachers were far too watchful of him nowadays, and he had no idea who he could recruit.

When he saw a whirlwind of female students surrounding a fresh-faced senior, charm and charisma oozing out of him, Schlatt took his previous thoughts back.

It would be a very, very interesting year, indeed. _Wilbur Pandel_ , he wrote in his notebook during roll call. That was someone to keep an eye on for future business. 

\---

Skeppy isn’t an idiot, no matter what his stupid friends might say. So when on the first day of school the math teacher handed out a quick progress check quiz at the beginning of class (that included material not taught yet) he noticed a shy brown haired boy breezing through the test even when he, himself, had long given up. 

Later, Skeppy watched as the other kid shyly answered questions, filling in the gaps during awkward silences. 

_This Techno is really smart_ , he mused. _I heard junior classes were supposed to be leagues harder than sophomore ones. We could really use a study buddy this year.  
_

\---

The new kid, Techno casually answered the complex calculus equation. No effort or anxiety, and they hadn’t even started covering those topics yet!

Techno might be smart, but he seemed more like a teacher’s pet wannabe, or at least just a decently smart student. Squid wasn’t too worried about his #1 academics position being threatened. 

Wait, Techno is a sophomore? In a junior-year class? What-

\---

As Luke walked toward the cafeteria, he saw a short-ass blonde kid loudly bragging and making jabs at a massively tall football player. The jock in question had apparently been making fun of someone else just moments ago. 

Luke and Wisp had been looking for like-minded people to join them since summer vacation after a certain fiasco from their middle school. Someone who hated bullies, who was utterly chaotic and unpredictable, and had not a single ounce of self-preservation. 

Luke watched as the blonde kid ran away screeching, but not before he managed to at least distract the jock long enough for the jock’s bushy-haired victim to dash away. 

_Yep, he fit the bill perfectly._ Luke would need to talk to him as soon as possible. _Tommy...Pandel, huh?  
_

\---

“This food,” Tommy announced loudly, his voice loud enough to carry across half the cafeteria, “is hot garbage.”

“Shut up, gremlin,” snapped Wilbur. He frowned at his… salad. The maybe-a-salad was basically inedible -- what the hell. It was like eating wet potato chips, minus the potato and the chips. Extremely dried leaves in a thick, gross, cold stew of watery peas and carrots. 

Meanwhile, Techno was thoroughly enjoying his self-packed lunch of an actual potato with copious amounts of real cheese lathered onto it. Not the one the school advertised as a “potato” or “cheese” either. “How the hell-”

“I looked it up, the school’s food is so disgusting it just about gives people’s hives from just being around it,” Techno quietly cut in, “and I wanted to celebrate managing to survive our first day without getting food poisoning from that.” He waved his hand at Tommy’s “pizza” which was more akin to a triangular piece of brown cardboard with questionably colored cheese on top. 

Tommy snarled. “You’re such an idiot. Why didn’t you tell us this morning, you asshole. I hope you rot in Wilbur’s goddamn salad-stew.”

Now of course, a good deal of students had been half-eavesdropping on the trio, most of them thinking it was weird that three newbies of varying grades were hanging out together, when they heard the phrase. A hushed silence fell over the cafeteria like a cloud.

Now, the brothers didn’t know it, but:

  1. Telling someone to rot in the “vegetable salad” was one of THE worst possible insults.   
  

  2. Do _not_ insult the food in the cafeteria or within earshot of most authority. It’s a deathwish.   
  




“Dude,” someone shakily said from the next table over. “Don’t say that. Like ever, do not.”

“Why not?”

“I-”

“Oi! You there, in the red and white shirt!” A red-faced teacher marched over. “Detention, now!”

“Me?” Tommy pointed down to himself and glanced at his red-white shirt. 

“Yes!” 

“Wha- What do you mean? I didn’t do anything wrong!”

The teacher sneered and looked at Tommy as if he was stupid. “You insulted the food. Do you know how much work the chefs here at our beloved private school put into this food? Do you? No, no, you don’t.”

Wilbur shifted so that Tommy’s enraged shaking was hidden. “Sir, wait we’re new here. We didn’t know that. We’ll try to be more respectful next time.” He smiled in a picturesque form of innocence. _Nothing wrong, don’t let your eyebrows twitch..._

The red-faced teacher huffed. “I’ll let you off the hook because you’re noobs, but if I catch one of you bad-mouthing the wonderful food here again, it’s an immediate detention. Got it?”

“Got it,” replied Wilbur. 

The teacher squinted at the trio, and as he left, he said, “You- other new kid with the glasses. Don’t bring your own food, it’s not allowed.” 

Techno looked utterly crushed for a moment before he schooled his expression into something more neutral.

Tommy fumed. “The hell was that?” he silently screeched. 

Techno quietly replied, “I read on a forum post that they really don’t tolerate insulting the food, sharing it, or anything along those lines. Apparently one kid got suspended for a week because they tried starting a protest-”

“Seriously?!” Tommy shouted. The cafeteria lady shot him a nasty glare. Tommy glanced at her, then stage-whispered, “Seriously?!”

Techno nodded gravely. “Yeah, they’re taking away our freedom of speech. Middle school at least-”

Wilbur stared at him. 

Techno huffed. “Fine, I’m glad we’ve moved to this new school district. Happy nerd?”

It was at this point the bell rang, and everyone moved to their classes. Some people thought the trio were the bravest or at least clearly insane to use such an insult in public. Those who realized they were new kids thought that they were doomed and would probably drop out soon if they had any sense. Unless they were scholarship kids to SMP, then they were doomed to be tied to shitty food forever.

(Unfortunately, the Pandel siblings were scholarship kids, and were indeed tied to the shitty food. That didn’t mean the trio was about to lie down quietly for the rest of the school year.)

\---

Wisp flopped down on his chair. “God, my stomach hurts.”

Tommy made a sympathetic noise. “School food problems?”

“Obviously,” he snarked. “Literally nothing is edible and the chocolate milk tasted like ink. I’m pretty sure I won’t even make it to finals at this rate.” 

“Jesus. Want a cookie?” Tommy pulled out the crumbled remains of what Techno gave him earlier, which had been squished into a brown pulp by his textbooks. Wisp gaped.

“Look, I know it looks kind of unappetizing, but… hey, what are you staring at?”

“Detention,” snapped a sharply dressed woman who had seemingly appeared out of nowhere.

Tommy spluttered. “I- huh? Why?” Detention on the first day? Was this foreshadowing? 

The woman - Ms. Apper? Apples? Whatever the attendance lady was named - wrinkled her nose as she towered over Tommy. “Students are not allowed to share food, Mr. Pandel. There are allergies along with other legal and safety issues when it comes to students giving out food. I would’ve given you a warning but I overheard your outburst in the cafeteria, so it’s a detention.”

“What?” Tommy weakly repeated. “Seriously? I thought that was a running joke!” The food was clearly giving everyone food poisoning! So why was sharing food, or hell, simply bringing their own food not allowed? And “allergies along with other legal and safety issues” was the stupidest excuse he’d ever heard.

The teacher raised an eyebrow and gave him a detention slip. She smiled kindly, but now Tommy knew that was clearly a farce. What sort of monster gave students detention over food, when most people knew their own allergies?

What sort of _school_ gave detention over food?

\---

“Luke, this might sound absolutely insane, but I just watched Tommy offer your friend, Wisp, a cookie.”

“What?! Seriously?”

“Wisp, is it true that Tommy gave you a cookie?”

“Yeah, he got detention by Ms. Appers- it was the most surreal experience of my life. He’s got balls to go around giving out food in broad daylight like that.”

“I asked Wisp, he said it’s true-”

“-that he was offered a _chocolate_ cookie by the freshman Pandel-”

“-a _massive_ chocolate cookie-”

“Did you know a new student, Paddle or something- I heard he gave this freshman a monster-sized chocolate dessert, and a teacher gave him a helluva thrashing-”

“-they say he barely managed to survive, but-”

“-the new student managed to not get expelled, somehow-”

“-but then I heard that the Principal himself got involved and he force-fed the newbie The Vegetable Salad so he could “appreciate” the school food-”

\---

Techno was confused. _Where was Tommy?  
_

Wilbur grimaced. “Don’t bother waiting for the gremlin today, he’s got detention.” 

“Already?! It’s only the first day; that has to be a new record!”

“Yeah. According to the rumor mill, Tommy ended up presenting a three-layer chocolate cake to this other kid who was on his deathbed from starvation, and some teacher caught him, tortured him, and then the Principal force fed him the school’s salad.”

Techno rolled his eyes. “Yes, and the rumor mill is very trustworthy. What actually happened?”

“I don’t know, I’ll probably ask the little shit later.”

\---

“What are you here for?” asked Schlatt. It was just him and Tommy today. He would’ve been surprised that there was someone joining him on the first day, if not for the rumor mill having gone haywire today. And if the rumors about the middle Pandel having an actual brain cell or two were true along with the ones about the youngest, it seemed the whole trio would be absolutely perfect for what he had in mind.

“I gave Wisp - my friend - a cookie. Tried to at least, but Ms. Apples or something said something along the lines of allergies.”

“Yeesh, kid.” Ignoring Tommy’s indignant squawk about being a big-high-schooler-and-thus-not-a-kid, he started thinking. He glanced at the teacher who was supposed to be watching them. Asleep? Not really. He was stirring too much.

“Look, Tommy, the teacher’s going to wake up soon, so I’ll make this quick: I’ll teach you business and you and your brothers can get rid of the food issues, sounds like a deal?”

Tommy’s eyes narrowed. “Isn’t it against the school rules?” He paused and thought for a moment. “Is it illegal?” 

Good, he wasn’t an idiot. He was asking the right questions. Maybe this feral child could become his successor for future chaos at SMP, just as he was taught by a previous “businessman” as a freshman. Ah, the good old days. But first...

 _Avoid the first question._ “Of course it’s not illegal. It’s business, isn’t it? Some rules are there to help, but some are so outdated they hinder- I want help from you to get rid of it, and you get tons of profit as well! You clearly have a talent for business.” _Carefully, flatter him...  
_

“What are you going to get out of it?” _Not bad, kid.  
_

“Ridding the school of its shit food and idiotic rules, but I do selfishly want to profit a little bit from it. However, you will gain the most of this.” A pause. “I’ll give you a few days to sit on it.”

“Thank you. I’ll consider your offer, Mr...”

“Jonathan Schlatt, but please, just call me Schlatt. Here’s my number..."

\---

“-and Ms. Apples said-”

“Appers-”

“Yeah whatever, and she was like, allergies and legal shit. I’m pretty sure you’ll have more legal problems when the students start dropping like flies because of the shit food!” Tommy raged.

Then, he paused. “I talked to this senior today, named Schlatt. He said he wanted to talk ‘business’ with the three of us.”

Wilbur’s head whipped over. “You better not be dragging us into drug-dealing, gremmy.”

“No, asshole, he just said he wanted to get rid of the food problem, and that it wasn’t illegal.” 

Techno hummed. “Well, as long as it’s impossible to get caught or prove it was us and it won’t go on my record, I’m on board. They don’t allow fidget spinners.”

“Well, considering what happened at our last school-”

“We don’t talk about that, nerd. It never happened.”

\---

“Taking all-nighters already, Techno?”

“Holy f- you scared me, Phil.” 

“Sorry.”

“...”

“...”

“I know I said I would come home early today to celebrate school, but things got hectic at work, and here I am. I-”

“Don’t apologize, nerd. The other two are already sleeping, don’t wake them up.”

“It’s midnight, they should be. And you too.”

“Ouch.”

“...So how was school?”

“Overall, not terrible. Nothing of interest happened, the classes are all alright, I s’pose.”

“So there won’t be a repeat of the inciden-”

“No, no. I’m pretty sure there won’t be. Anyway, I’m going to bed. G’night, Phil.”

“Goodnight, Piggy.”

“I hate you.”

“Love you too.”

\---

Schlatt madly cackled in the safety of his room. He had been grinning like an idiot all afternoon, and rightfully so. This would be the greatest year of his life, if everything went right. A successor, his name forever carved in the school’s history, and pure, unadulterated chaos. No legal trouble, because there would be no physical injuries or property damage. A complete and utter win-win for him.

He was also laughing maniacally because he contacted someone who went to the same old high school as the Pandels, and he was told quite the tales of chaos and fidget toys before they moved here this summer. Technically nothing could be tied to them except by word of mouth… 

In that case, he probably didn’t have to do much, either. Just get the ball rolling and weasel his way in to get a good portion of monetary profit. It seemed the Pandels would cause most of the chaos just by being themselves.


End file.
